Old-School Internet Tranquility

This is Connor Barthold's personal "Digital Garden". Here you will find an irregularly updated blog and some notes on projects.

Recipes

Recipes of all sorts, mostly edible. I am not a lawyer or a doctor, use common sense and consult your local bishop before consuming anything found here.

Earl Grey Tea Bread

Great with jam and coffee, ironically
By Connor Barthold at 2025-03-08 13:50:56+00:00 πŸ“–πŸ• 40 seconds

For the Zojirushi BB-HAC10 Breadmaker, makes a 1 pound loaf. Taken from here, with minor tweak and weights added.

Ingredients

  • 185 g (~3/4 Cups) Strong Brewed Earl Grey Tea, Chilled
  • 17 g (1 1/2 Tbsp.) Sugar
  • 256 g (2 Cups) Bread Flour
  • 6 g (1 1/2 Tbsp.) Dry Milk
  • 2.8 g (1/2 Tsp.) Salt
  • 14 g (1 Tbps.) Butter
  • 2 Bags (1 Tbsp.) Dry Earl Grey Tea
  • 2.8 g (1 Tsp.) Active Dry Yeast

Directions

  1. Brew strong earl grey tea and allow to chill to room temperature (use two bags)
  2. Ensure kneading blade is attached to baking pan
  3. Add ingredients in order, ensuring that the yeast is not touching any liquid
  4. Use the regular basic bread setting, with light or regular crust as desired
  5. After baking is finished, remove from pan and allow to cool for 1 - 2 hours before slicing

Notes

  • 185 g is more than 3/4 cups on purpose, the dry tea leaves mean the dough dries out slightly without the extra moisture
  • Use the "light" crust setting if you're going to slice and freeze, for better toasting
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Gorgonzola Honey Bread

Like brioche, but totally different
By Connor Barthold at 2025-03-08 13:52:04+00:00 πŸ“–πŸ• 31 seconds

For the Zojirushi BB-HAC10 Breadmaker, makes a 1 pound loaf. Taken from here, just with weights added.

Ingredients

  • 158 g (2/3 Cups) Water
  • 43 g (2 Tbsp.) Honey
  • 256 g (2 Cups) Bread Flour
  • 2 g (1/2 Tbsp.) Dry Milk
  • 2.8 g (1/2 Tsp.) Salt
  • 14 g (1 Tbps.) Butter
  • 45 g (1/3 Cup) Gorgonzola Cheese
  • 2.8 g (1 Tsp.) Active Dry Yeast

Directions

  1. Ensure kneading blade is attached to baking pan
  2. Add ingredients in order, ensuring that the yeast is not touching any liquid
  3. Use the regular basic bread setting, with light or regular crust as desired
  4. After baking is finished, remove from pan and allow to cool for 1 - 2 hours before slicing

Notes

  • Use the "light" crust setting if you're going to slice and freeze, for better toasting
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Good Gravy

Witty subtitle goes here
By Connor Barthold at 2025-03-08 13:56:32+00:00, updated at 2025-03-08 14:35:59+00:00 πŸ“–πŸ• 40 seconds

Adapted from Townsend's version of a 1787 brown gravy recipe, which was unfortunately recently unlisted on youtube.

Ingredients

  • 1/2 Pint Water
  • 1/2 Pint Beer (Light lager, wheat beer, or similar)
  • 2 Shallots, Diced Small
  • 1/4 Cup Butter, Salted
  • 1 Small Lemon Peel
  • 2 Clove, Whole
  • 1 Blade Mace, or 1/2 Tsp. Ground mace
  • 2 Tsp. Black Pepper, Ground
  • 1 Anchovy, Whole
  • 3 Tbsp. Mushroom Ketchup
  • 1/3 Cup Heavy Cream
  • 1 Cup Beef Bone Broth

Directions

  1. Melt butter in a small saucepan over medium heat
  2. Add diced shallots and cook until translucent and soft
  3. Add remaining ingredients and raise heat to high until boiling
  4. Stir intermittently and let boil for 20 - 30 minutes or until volume is reduced to about half of original
  5. Remove blade of mace (if used) and cloves
  6. Add salt to taste

Notes

  • For a thicker gravy, add 1/4 Tsp. of xanthan gum at a time and stir until desired consistancy
  • If the clove or mace flavor is too strong, try removing them from the gravy 5 - 10 minutes early
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Garlic and Herb Pork Tenderloin

By Connor Barthold at 2025-03-08 14:13:36+00:00, updated at 2025-03-08 14:36:37+00:00 πŸ“–πŸ•œ 58 seconds

Adapted from several different recipes, trial, and error:

Ingredients

In Crockpot

  • 1 1/2 - 2 Lbs Pork Tenderloin
  • 6 Tbsp. Salted Butter
  • 5 Garlic Cloves, Minced
  • 1/4 Cup Beef or Chicken Stock
  • 1 Tsp. Rosemary, Crushed
  • 1/2 Tsp. Thyme, Ground
  • 1 Tsp. Oregano Flakes
  • 1/2 Tsp. Ancho Chile Powder
  • 1/2 Tsp. Kosher Salt
  • 1/2 Tsp. Black Pepper, Freshly Ground

Add to Sauce

  • Splash of Apple Cider Vinegar
  • 1/2 Tsp. Xanthan Gum
  • 1 - 2 Cupa Half N Half
  • 1 Tsp. Kosher Salt
  • 1/2 Tsp. Black Pepper, Freshly Ground

Directions

  1. Add all ingredients to crockpot
  2. Turn on Low and cook for 4 - 5 hours
  3. When tenderloin is done, baste in gravy and turn over to remove excess spices
  4. Tent tenderloin with aluminum foil while making sauce to keep warm
  5. Add gravy from crockpot to medium saucepan on medium-high heat
  6. Add apple cider vinegar and half-n-half
  7. Stir until combined
  8. Separate a small amount of the sauce and add xanthan gum, stirring until incorporated
  9. Add xanthan gum mixture to the rest of sauce
  10. Stir in salt and pepper
  11. Stir and reduce until combined and at desired thickness, adding small amounts of xanthan gum for texture or half n half for creaminess
  12. Slice tenderloin
  13. Pour sauce over tenderloin and serve
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Mushroom Ketchup

Or fungus catsup, if you prefer
By Connor Barthold at 2025-03-08 14:25:42+00:00, updated at 2025-03-08 14:44:09+00:00 πŸ“–πŸ•œ 51 seconds

Adapted from this recipe.

Ingredients

  • 2 Lbs. Fresh Mushrooms
  • 2 Tbsp. Kosher or Sea Salt
  • 2 - 3 Bay Leaves
  • 1 Large Onion, chopped
  • Zest of 1 Lemon
  • 1 Tbsp. Grated Horseradish
  • 1/4 Tsp. Clove, ground
  • 1/4 Tsp. Ginger, ground
  • 1/2 Tsp. Allspice, ground
  • 1 Pinch of Cayenne (Or 1/8 Tsp. of Paprika)
  • 1/8 Tsp. White Pepper, Ground
  • 1 Tsp. Musroom Ketchup Powder (if available from last batch, see notes)
  • 1/2 Cup Apple Cider Vinegar

Directions

  1. Wipe mushrooms clean of any debris, do not wash
  2. Chop mushrooms fine (1/3 - 1/4 inch pieces)
  3. Add mushrooms, bay leaves, and salt to a non-metallic container, stirring to mix
  4. Let mixture sit covered overnight (12 - 18 hours)
  5. Combine mushroom mixture and all ingredients in a pot, stirring well
  6. Bring to a boil and then let simmer for 20 minutes or until mixture has reduced by about half, stirring occasionally
  7. Allow mixture to cool fully
  8. Pour mixture into a cloth-covered bowl, strain, and bottle

Notes

Make mushroom ketchup powder from the leftover mixture!

  • Save mushroom mixture after straining.
  • Spread out on a parchment-lined baking sheet and bake at 200F until completely dry and brittle (or use a dehydrator), usually 3 - 6 hours.
  • Grind mixture to powder in mortar and pestle and use for future batches of mushroom ketchup, and to season food, stews, gravy, etc.
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Real Pumpkin Pie

From scratch, for real. You can do it. Stop buying the canned slop.
By Connor Barthold at 2025-03-07 18:26:53+00:00 πŸ“–πŸ•œ 1 minute 10 seconds

Adapted from this recipe with over a decade of refinements

Ingredients

  • 1 Sugar Pumpkin
  • 1 Cup White Sugar
  • 1 1/2 Cans (18 oz) Evaporated Milk
  • 1 1/4 Tsp. Cinnamon, Ground
  • 1/2 Tsp. Clove, Ground
  • 3/4 Tsp. Allspice, Ground
  • 1/4 Tsp. Ginger, Ground
  • 1/2 Tsp. Nutmeg, Freshly Ground
  • 1/2 Tsp. Mace, Ground
  • 1 Tbsp. Rum
  • 4 Large Eggs
  • 3 (9-Inch), or 2 (11-Inch) Deep Dish Pie Shells

Directions

  1. Cut pumpkin into 4 pieces, removing the stem
  2. Remove seeds and guts, scraping the insides of the pumpkin clean (you can rinse, dry, roast, and salt the seeds for a snack)
  3. Rinse the pumpkin gently
  4. Cook pumpkin in crockpot on low for 6 hours with ~1 inch of water, continue recipe after pumpkin is cooked
  5. Preheat oven to 400ΒΊF
  6. Let pie crusts thaw if frozen (10 minutes)
  7. Cover pie crust edges with tinfoil (to prevent burning)
  8. Prick bottom and sides of pie crusts well
  9. Bake empty pie shells on bottom rack for 8 minutes
  10. Remove crusts from oven and let them cool (crusts will bubble, let them settle fully before pouring)
  11. Scoop pumpkin meat out and puree until smooth (should result in 2~3 cups pumpkin puree)
  12. Add all ingredients
  13. Mix with hand blender until smooth (the mix should be very soupy, this is normal), try not to introduce too much air into the filling
  14. Raise oven temperature to 425ΒΊF
  15. Fill pies, alternating pours between all shells for an even spread of spices
  16. Bake at 425ΒΊF for 16 minutes
  17. Lower temperature to 350ΒΊF and bake for ~50 minutes (until a butter knife comes out clean)
  18. Let pies cool fully in fridge before eating

Notes

  • You can substitute half of the white sugar for raw, demerara, or even brown sugar for a more complex sweetness
  • If you can't find fresh or pre-ground mace, adding a bit more nutmeg is an acceptable alternative
  • If you have an infinity bottle for your rum, this recipe is an excellent time to use some
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